what did I do

as we walked into the tattoo parlor a year ago I was ready to make this committment to her. she was getting "be your everything" and I was getting "be your forever". on our ribs we were going to get tattoo together that meant so much to each of us. be your everything by boys like girls. it was one of our songs. I had never thought about getting a tattoo with anyone besdies family. but her and I got tattoos. 

my tattoo reading "be your forever", it was a promise that I would always be there for her, forever. but that ended. she left me. and the words she has on her "be your everything" she is slowly not becoming my everything.. it hurts but i am trying my hardest to realize that she is gone. 

anyway the point of this post is to finally admit to myself after almost two months I am letting go.. friday night I went and had the tattoo covered up. it is on my ribs and yeah rib tattoos hurt, I have four on my ribs but this one was different. it hurt so bad. every time the needle hit my skin I felt sick to to my stomach. as he told me he was shading it I knew that it was going to be gone forever.. no more "be your forever". my two best friends were there with me. one was holding my hand and as i closed my eyes I tried so hard to keep in the tears. it hurt my chest to try and hold back the tears. the tears weren't from the pain of the needle but from the pain in my heart. it felt like it was lifting. it felt like I was letting her go.. it hurt.. I let a few tears flow and told myself that I was doing this for me. she has forgotten me. It was time for me to try and forget her. that was the last piece of her that I had... and now it is gone. just like she is...

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Comments (2)

  1. ShrinkMeDown

    this breaks my heart to hear about this =/ its so hard to lose things that were once so important, but you have to remember that everything moves forward, even if you arent ready I hope your doing okay and im always always here if you need to talk

    July 28, 2014
    1. LoveWithoutFear

      it is very hard. I need to realize that I deserve to be happy. I am trying to find my happiness now. Thank you tho. means a lot when there are people there for me..

      July 29, 2014