I can feel myself getting stronger everyday. I am able to pick myself up everyday and tell myself that I can do this. It feels good to not break down and cry whenever I hear one of our songs or when my timehop shows our memories. last weekend was kind of hard because I was in Missouri visiting and I realized it was the same weekend a year ago when she proposed. it was a struggle but I had my best friend by my side to tell me to man up. I can seriously feel this huge shift in me lately. it is a fuck it attitude about everything. not in a bad way. I guess not in a very good way either but whenever I start to feel sad or start to catch the feels then I am like hey, stop it. and I have turned back into a huge asshole but it is only to protect myself. and I am protecting everyone who trys to get close. so y'all are welcome.