man things have been a roller coaster the past few months. my world was turned upside down when I lost a woman who was my second mother. I still haven't been able to grasp the fact that she is gone. I don't think I ever will either. I am always expecting her to be at work or see her at the movie. it is so damn hard losing someone close to you but I accepted that this life isn't fair and it keeps moving on with or without you.
I am in a better place mentally then I was a few months ago. I have accepted the fact that my ex, the one who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, has moved on an forgotten about me. she is happy and as much as it hurt me to say it, I am happy for her. I am working on myself and I am proud to say that I am so much better than I thought I would be. I have my days where I think "damn I miss her" but I also have my days (more often than not) where I am happy and content with my life the way it is now. I am not in a relationship by any means but I have my family and some pretty awesome people surrounding me making it easier for me to be the happy person I deserve to be. there is one girl, she is pretty dang amazing. I have no idea how to explain her. she is strong, way stronger than I am, she has been through so much and she has opened up to me and shared things with me that I would have never known just by looking at her. I'm not really sure what it is or where it is going but all I know is with her around I am 100 times happier than I have been in such a long time. I haven't smiled this much in so long that it feels foreign to me. all I know is whatever this is, I hope it stays this way because she makes me a better person and I like this person I am with her around.
I also got this amazing job, I am coaching at a high school close to my hometown. I am coaching basketball, varsity, JV, and C team. it is such an honor and privilage to be able to coach this game that I love so damn much. I have no words to explain how thankful I am for this amazing opportunity. it has changed me so much and the season just started last month. the girls are awesome, the other coaches are awesome and even tho we hated the school when I was in high school, I am learning to love it. I am excited for this season and am ready to see how well my girls do.
There is a lot to be thankful for and it took me a while but I am finally seeing all the good in my life. Things don't always go as you planned but you just have to roll with the punches, you never know, this crazy life might lead you down a path that you never expected and it may just have the best turnout. I am blessed.