I have been trying, I really have. I get up in the morning and try not thinking about her. yesterday was a rough day and it all kind of came crashing down..again. and I hate myself for it. I made a new twitter a few months ago and I was on my old one yesterday but browsing thru some shit and I saw her new twitter pop up. my stomach dropped. I stared at her picture for a good minute. I am proud of myself though, I haven't even been on her twitter. not once. I have been strong enough. I guess that isn't the word. I know my heart would break all over again seeing her happy without me. I fucking hate this. I miss her and I shouldn't. I should be strong but everytime I start to feel better everything shatters all over again. it is such bullshit. it is fucked up how someone who promised so much can just leave you. she left me on my fucking ass. left me all alone when I needed her the most. I hate this. she made me feel a way I never knew was possible. I am weak and I hate it. so I finally figured out what I want to do. I know what will get my mind off of her. I know what will finally be something for me. maybe once she hears about it she will actually think of me.