Drowning

 I don't see the person I was three months ago. I don't even recognize myself anymore. I see someone who is weak.. I see someone who really isn't worth the love that everyone says I deserve. I don't see the strongwilled, hard headed girl I used to be. Instead I see someone who is weak. every morning I see red eyes, puffy from lack of sleep and a tear streaked face Staring back at me telling me that I am worthless and weak. I see someone who can't take it anymore. Nights alone are the worst. I lay in bed and  pray and ask God to give me strength and ask Him where I went wrong. I ask Him to put me on a path that doesn't hurt me. I ask Him for forgiveness because I've only started to pray again. The nights where I'm screaming into my pillow crying out to Him asking Him why he made me like this.. those are the nights when I feel like I have nothing. Like I'm talking to someone who isn't listening. I feel like I am going insane. Repeating the same thing over and over expecting a different result even when you know it won't happen, that's what I am doing. When I picture my situation I see myself on my knees with my hands out. I can't give anymore. I have nothing else to give.. I'm tired.. I don't have anymore words. I've given up. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments (1)

  1. firewalker

    May 26, 2017